80 - 15 - 5

I think that my marriage is an incredibly interesting thing. I will start out saying that I love being married. I am absolutely head-over-heels in love with my husband about 80 percent of the time. I'm talking annoying-everyone-else kind of love. That 80 percent of the time I think to myself that he can do no wrong.

15 percent of the time I'm in love with my husband, but it's not that all-encompasing, words-can't-describe-it kind of love. It's a comfortable love, and one that says he's okay, but damn, I don't need him around right now.

That other 5 percent of the time? I want to smack him. I don't, of course, but I really, really want to.

Last night, for reasons that were not entirely his fault, and more the fault of PMS/hormones, it was one of those 5 percent nights. I was mad at him. Really, really mad. He hadn't done anything at all that should make me mad. He came home, went and sat down in front of the computer and stayed there for multiple hours.

Ignoring me.

That was his smackable sin. My unreasonable hormone-influenced mind started saying things to itself, like, "You know what's really annoying? That if you go in there and say something to him, or ask him to pay attention to you, he's going to act all disappointed and annoyed with having to pay attention to you, and that's so not fair. He always asks for attention when you're ignoring him and you don't act all disappointed to have to pay attention to him instead of what you're doing" (which is probably not true, as I know I typically roll my eyes at his antics).

So I started cleaning the kitchen and slammed some things around, you know, to let him know that I was Not Happy. He took the bait and came out to the kitchen and was incredibly sweet to me, so then he was in the 15 percent range again.

(It's almost impossible to go straight from 5 to 80. You have to spend some time in 15 first. It's just the way it works.)

20 minutes later? I was pissy again, and I went to sleep still in the 5 percent range.

The greatest thing about all of this is that I am physically incapable of holding a grudge for very long, so this morning I woke up feeling rosy and in 80 percent territory again.

I'm sure that he just thinks I'm crazy, but he still loves me and sticks around, so I guess that's okay.