And this is why...
I took the girls up north this past weekend, all by myself, which meant I had to be "on" 24-7. At least with Aaron around I can farm one of the kids off on him, or even leave both with him so I can get something done. However, even with my parents around to help out, I still had two girls basically sitting on me all weekend.
On Monday, Aaron had some sort of 24-hour bug, so I ended up taking both girls to Gabbie's tumbling class by myself (usually Aaron takes Gabbie, and Sophie and I cuddle at home and catch up on DVRed shows). Not difficult, but I had really been looking forward to that quiet time at home.
Then there was my day yesterday, which consisted of rushing around all morning, getting the girls to school, running to work to get through several back-to-back meetings, rushing out of work at 11:30 to get Sophie (barely on time) to her 4 month well visit (stats: 12 lb. 4 oz. (25th percentile) and 25 1/2 inches (94th percentile), with a 25th percentile head). Then I had to deal with a cranky-from-shots baby all afternoon, before running back out in the cold, drizzly day to pick up Gabbie from daycare.
I know this is normal mom stuff, and I'm hardly the first person to deal with being busy, but by the time dinner rolled around last night, I was ready for a break. I'm dealing with some sort of either weather-related or post-partum funk that just will not lift, and being away all weekend just makes the weeks seem harder because I don't have my typical weekend down-time. We're going away this weekend too, which I'm looking forward to, but I think I might need another weekend directly afterwards so I can get my self built up for the week.
Aaron gets it, he really does, but while he does do things to try to make me feel better (chocolates and flowers, extra cuddling whenever possible), he also tells me to buck up and do the things I need to do. He's right, I can't just mope all the time, it doesn't work with being a responsible parent/adult/breadwinner.
That said, I am fantasizing about a tropical vacation all by myself lately. Okay, Aaron can come too, but only if he keeps his mouth shut for large portions of each day. I think what I really need is some sun along with some peace and quiet. And a few really good books into which I can lose myself. A few adult-type beverages wouldn't hurt either.
Instead, I'll probably get a date this weekend while my parents watch the girls. And, that's okay too. (I'm also holding out for some pampering on Mother's Day in a couple of weeks. Just sayin'.)