If you asked me how I've felt since Gabbie was born, I could give you several words to encompass my feelings: joyful, thankful, grateful, awed, amazed, humored, tired... The list goes on and on. One word that you won't find on that list, though, is sexy. I haven't felt sexy since about the middle of my pregnancy, and counting back, that means I really haven't felt sexy for nearly two years.
I need to get my groove back, in the worst way.
I'm still overweight; I lost 20 pounds in the first couple of weeks after she was born and the scale hasn't moved much since. I have a saggy stomach still. My boobs, well, let's just say they'll never be the same. My stretch marks have mostly faded, but the texture of my skin down there is a nightmare. Don't get me wrong, I never expected to bounce back and look exactly the same as I did pre-baby. I've seen what I looked like at 41 weeks pregnant. You can't come back from that.
But, I can make some progress. It's going to take some work, but I'm at the point I'm willing to put in that work. I need to eat better. I've already cut out fast food and am weaning myself of soda. I'm going to add physical activity to my routine, because I know that's the only way I can really get in a better shape; plus it helps with my seasonal depression, so now is the best time for me to start a routine again.
As of this evening, I've been felled by some sort of stomach bug, but when I'm feeling better I'm taking a picture of how I look now. I might even post it (with much apology before and after for subjecting you all to the sight). I just know that now is my time to do this, because I have 20 pounds to lose to be at a good starting point for getting pregnant again, which we expect to start on early next year. That gives me about 4 months to lose that 20 pounds, which I think is totally doable. If I do the work, that is.