Don't even get me started on the deli counter people

I should have known better than to do what I did last night. Really. And even this morning I'm still in a foul mood because of what I did.

What exactly did I do?

I went to the giant grocery store after work yesterday.

That is the worst time to go, on par with 2 p.m. on a weekend day. That is when everyone is there, and my homicidal tendencies emerge. There are a lot of people who are lucky they're still alive today.

Here are the cast of characters that ruined my past 16 hours:

Annoying middle-aged couple

This couple was apparently buying food for a crowd of people for whom they do not normally buy food. Also, this food was in the most obvious place, that place being right where I needed to go next. I even tried to change up my shopping pattern to avoid them, but they obviously have telepathic abilities, because no matter where I went, there they were!

Stupid boy at meat counter

Here's our conversation from last night, nearly verbatim:

Me: Do you have any non-pre-cooked shrimp?
Him: Um, no I don't think so. All the shrimp we have is over there. *points to case of pre-cooked frozen shrimp*
Me: Are you sure? Because normally you have frozen shrimp that's not pre-cooked. Do you have any in back?
Him: I don't think so, I think all we have is right there. *points, again, to case of pre-cooked frozen shrimp*
Me: *wants to break his pointing finger, because I know where the pre-cooked frozen shrimp is, and that's not what I want anyway!!!*
Me: Do you know when you'll be getting any raw shrimp in? Will it be this week?
Him: I don't think so. I think all the raw shrimp we have is in aisle three, and I'd have to go look there to see if we had any.
Me: *head explodes* So there's frozen raw shrimp in aisle three?
Him: Yes. That's where we keep it.

I didn't even dignify that with a response.

Woman who takes 5 minutes to choose an ice cream flavor, blocking the freezer case the entire time so no one else can get to it.

Needs no further explanation. All I wanted was some damn vanilla!

Cashier who couldn't tell the difference between a red onion and an eggplant

Seriously, here. I'm not lying. She rang up things incorrectly at least five times. "You're taking me on a tour of the fruits and veggies section today, aren't you?" she asked, smiling. "Sure am", I replied, smiling back so I didn't start crying from frustration of having to tell her, that's not an eggplant, it's a red onion. Those aren't oranges, they're minneolas. Ad nauseum. I can't help it if we eat a lot of fruit and vegetables! Know your stuff! It's your job!

Annoyed customer service representative

I didn't catch the fifth thing the cashier rang up incorrectly, so I had to go wait in the (incredibly long) customer service line to get my $1.65 back. When I get up there, what does the eye-rolling, nearly-swearing rep do? He rings me up wrong! Although this time it was in my favor and I would feel worse about it if he didn't walk away from me right when he was done, before I could say thank you. He gave me back $2.00, plus a coupon for $2.50 off our next grocery bill for my trouble.

I guess I can't be mad at that.

But the rest of it? Still mad.


Sizzle said...
September 5, 2007 at 11:06 AM

maybe that cashier needs to eat more veggies so she can be smarter.

L Sass said...
September 5, 2007 at 12:37 PM

The cashiers in the (terrible) NYC grocery stores always just look at me and say, boredly, "What is this?"

I'm like, it's an avocado, stupid.

Glenna said...
September 7, 2007 at 4:09 AM

I smiled when the guy gave you back a little too much money, like a cosmic gift. Perfect. Sorry for the bad shopping day but you described it perfectly. I think all those people shop/work at my grocery too. They must travel in packs.

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