Don't even get me started on the deli counter people

I should have known better than to do what I did last night. Really. And even this morning I'm still in a foul mood because of what I did.

What exactly did I do?

I went to the giant grocery store after work yesterday.

That is the worst time to go, on par with 2 p.m. on a weekend day. That is when everyone is there, and my homicidal tendencies emerge. There are a lot of people who are lucky they're still alive today.

Here are the cast of characters that ruined my past 16 hours:

Annoying middle-aged couple

This couple was apparently buying food for a crowd of people for whom they do not normally buy food. Also, this food was in the most obvious place, that place being right where I needed to go next. I even tried to change up my shopping pattern to avoid them, but they obviously have telepathic abilities, because no matter where I went, there they were!

Stupid boy at meat counter

Here's our conversation from last night, nearly verbatim:

Me: Do you have any non-pre-cooked shrimp?
Him: Um, no I don't think so. All the shrimp we have is over there. *points to case of pre-cooked frozen shrimp*
Me: Are you sure? Because normally you have frozen shrimp that's not pre-cooked. Do you have any in back?
Him: I don't think so, I think all we have is right there. *points, again, to case of pre-cooked frozen shrimp*
Me: *wants to break his pointing finger, because I know where the pre-cooked frozen shrimp is, and that's not what I want anyway!!!*
Me: Do you know when you'll be getting any raw shrimp in? Will it be this week?
Him: I don't think so. I think all the raw shrimp we have is in aisle three, and I'd have to go look there to see if we had any.
Me: *head explodes* So there's frozen raw shrimp in aisle three?
Him: Yes. That's where we keep it.

I didn't even dignify that with a response.

Woman who takes 5 minutes to choose an ice cream flavor, blocking the freezer case the entire time so no one else can get to it.

Needs no further explanation. All I wanted was some damn vanilla!

Cashier who couldn't tell the difference between a red onion and an eggplant

Seriously, here. I'm not lying. She rang up things incorrectly at least five times. "You're taking me on a tour of the fruits and veggies section today, aren't you?" she asked, smiling. "Sure am", I replied, smiling back so I didn't start crying from frustration of having to tell her, that's not an eggplant, it's a red onion. Those aren't oranges, they're minneolas. Ad nauseum. I can't help it if we eat a lot of fruit and vegetables! Know your stuff! It's your job!

Annoyed customer service representative

I didn't catch the fifth thing the cashier rang up incorrectly, so I had to go wait in the (incredibly long) customer service line to get my $1.65 back. When I get up there, what does the eye-rolling, nearly-swearing rep do? He rings me up wrong! Although this time it was in my favor and I would feel worse about it if he didn't walk away from me right when he was done, before I could say thank you. He gave me back $2.00, plus a coupon for $2.50 off our next grocery bill for my trouble.

I guess I can't be mad at that.

But the rest of it? Still mad.