Joy and Pain

Even though I am beyond excited about Blogher (I’m currently on a train headed to Chicago), I’m also a little sad about leaving Gabbie behind. These 4 days will be the longest I’ve been away from her yet. This morning, as I nursed her for what will probably be the last time, I had to fight back tears. My baby is getting so big, and it’s happening much faster than I want it to. But, it happens that way, and she’s more and more fun the older she gets, so I can’t be too sad. She’s going through a major daddy’s girl phase right now, so this trip couldn’t happen at a better time.

Still, though, who wouldn’t miss this beautiful little face?

I’m sure she’ll look bigger when I get back; she always does when I leave her for more than a day. No matter what, though, I’m going to enjoy this time away. This is my reward for making it through the first year as a mom, for sacrificing so much alone time, and so many other things. Those sacrifices are totally worth it, and I wouldn’t have it any other way, but this is a pretty awesome reward. I’m anxious and nervous, but also ready to have a great time. This? Is going to be awesome!

P.S. Earlier, when I was walking through the train, and because I am kind of a moron, I tried to open the door between cars manually instead of by pushing the big button that says “PUSH” and scraped the hell out of two knuckles (they bled for a really long time) and broke a nail. I also managed to, when I first got to the station this morning, drop my two bags and purse about two times each. Embarrassing!

P.P.S. Dude, I totally just locked myself in the train bathroom and couldn’t figure out how to get out for more than 2 minutes. See: the moron comment above. Embarrassing x2! (Also, train bathrooms get a little gross more than 2 hours into the trip. FYI.)

P.P.P.S. So, my body must have heard when I said we were officially done nursing, because about 20 minutes after I typed that, I got my period for the first time in two years. Awesome.